It’s amazing how quickly life can change, how temporary so
many aspects of life are.
I woke up this morning and confidently slid into the outfit
I neurotically picked out the night before. I walked to school in step with my
neighbor and clocked in well before I was expected to. I visited the teacher
I’m closest with before I trucked to the library. We visited for awhile before
I offered to help her get an activity ready for her students. I sat down in one
of her student chairs and started boxing off the paper and filing the boxes
with synonyms and antonyms.
And then…
I realized I was slightly stuck to the chair. I sat in gum.
I was wearing brand new pants and I sat in gum. I tied my blazer around my
waist, speed walked home, and changed only to arrive back at school right as
the morning meeting started.
Whatever, not the end of the world.
I bunkered down in the library and perused the internet for
a second-grade friendly story on Halloween. When I went to print, I was met
with an unfixable jammed printer.
Okay, still not the end of the world.
And then…
Multiple people came into the library, exasperatingly
expressing that they were “bringing the books up from downstairs to put on the
library floor.”
Every single expletive I knew raced through my mind. It took
every ounce of self-discipline I have to not have a two-year old like tantrum
on my floor. I’ve spent hours, my mom and grandma have spent hours cleaning out
this library. When books were initially purged, I asked that they be discarded
or given away. My request was translated to “please transfer the books to an
empty room downstairs.” And now, those books are returning to the library.
Since I’ve started here, I’ve gone from not having teaching
responsibilities to teaching multiple classes. I went from a middle school
teacher to a high school teacher, I’ve subbed, I’ve been asked to teach
elementary, and now, my space is being dumped on with things I already deemed
unworthy of the library I am attempting to create.
Change is (obviously) inevitable, flexibility apparently
needs to be the number one qualification for this job, and I’m finding it’s
best to not question my worth at the school (because it leads to me feeling
absolutely worthless).
Today, though, already weary from the kinks thrown into my
(thought to be) fluid plan, I’m reminded of something of lovely.
Life isn’t about the things that flee quickly, it’s not
about the books on my library floor or the hours of work I’ve put into creating
a semi clean space, it’s not about my new pants with a streak of white gum
across the back pockets.
Life is about the things that last, the things that mark us
and make us. Life is about hysterically laughing while trying to catch a mouse
in my neighbor’s house (that actually happened), snuggling with my dog a few
minutes past my alarm, helping a student pick out a book, spending time with my
family, sipping coffee until noon on Saturday, singing songs (off-key) with my best friend, dancing like a fool, having long conversations while hitting the pavement with my running buddy, waving to strangers, connecting with people.
Life is loving the things that matter and learning from the
things that don’t.
No comments:
Post a Comment