Friday, September 14, 2012

365 Days Of Love. Day 147


On one of my last nights of summer, I went for a motorcycle ride with my neighbor. When we got back to his house, his mom and dad, Judy and Charlie, were prepping their motorcylces for a Sturgis-bound journey. They invited us in and conversation commenced.

When I started sharing my (at that time) ensuing adventure, Judy said, “Natalie, you’re not nerdy enough to be a librarian.” I immediately refuted her, promising that I was actually probably far nerdier than the standard librarian.

When I was getting ready for work today (a 3 hour work day without students), I tied my hair back in the modern-day librarian’s bun, put on an oversized sweater and jeans, and completed the look with my –too large for my face- glasses. The cracks in my skin are filled with dust from aged books and my fingertips are glossed by the brittle paper those books contain.

I am a librarian. A hybrid librarian that occasionally substitutes, teaches a High School class on Media, and corrals little ones by convincing them that all books are truly mesmerizing.

 I’ve always been confidently convinced that the degree of nerdiness I possess far surpasses the threshold set by an imaginary board of librarians. Until recently, though, I felt nearly purposeless at this school. When school started, we were missing teachers and I felt if I volunteered to be one of those teachers, I would be more valuable. I embodied insecurity.

Today, though, confident in my full physical conversion to a librarian, I also feel pretty good about my purpose in the school.

I’m a nerdy librarian. I’ve always been a bit (or far more than a bit) of a nerd, I love that my nerdiness now has purpose. 

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