I've lost myself.
Luckily, I'm en route to finding myself again, slowly stopping the spiral that I allowed my life to temporarily become. I believe mystery and adventure are the two things my soul needs to be satisfied. Chaos and a lack of discipline are the two things that most frequently prevent my soul's deepest...needs. In pursuit of mystery and adventure, my soul seeks something else, the qualities that have combined to create me. Often, these qualities surface in writing, running, and connecting with people, new people, all the time. As is obvious, at this point, to anyone who reads my blog, I took a hiatus from writing. My runs went from 75 minutes to 34 and connectivity came in quick, anxiety inspired, conversations with the maintenance man at my school. The worst part of all of this, as I watched my life spin out of control, I knew I was allowing my soul to rest (die would be too harsh of a word here).
After a Saturday of binge eating chocolate and candy corn (unwrapped from my grandma's assisted living, this is an all-time low), I realized that I was making myself feel like shit (literally and figuratively) and just as I could self-depriate I could also self-encourage.
Er, I could be myself. Not some - chicken with my head cutoff - version of myself.
I went on a good run today, I cooked my favorite foods for dinner, I took my dog for a walk, cleaned my house, and I'm writing.
My soul is singing again. A sweet soft song.
It'll be roaring (again) soon.
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