365 Days Of Love. Day 143

Since the start of the school year, I've been substituting in two Science classes. In the ambiguity of my librarian position, I've found comfort in the (relative) concrete structures of a classroom and the expectations inherently set by the four walls that enclose science-y desks occupied by young adult learners. 

Both yesterday and today, I was nearly in tears by the time my after lunch Chemistry class started. It's not my students or my non-classroom or the overwhelming piles of books that are stressing me out, but rather, it's my inability to connect necessary dots, the dots that lead to built relationships and "eureka" moments in 14 year olds. Yes, yesterday and today have marked every insecurity in bold marker. They have made me question not only my ability to work in a school but also my ability to make a decision that I can actually live with. 

Until Chemistry class commences. 

Within the first minutes of Chemistry, the 4 students in my class make me feel entirely at ease. They remind me I'm not speaking in a foreign language, incomprehensible to anyone under the age of 23. More than anything, though, they remind me why I am here. They remind me that within the walls of Crazy Horse School there lies leaders, potential, humanitarians, advocates, presidents, the faces of justice in the coming years, authors, and radio broadcasters, musicians, and artists. They remind me that in the walls of the school, there lies 

love

love to be given, love to be taken, love to be learned.