Last year, in a blustery 37 degrees, Roma I.S.D afforded
students and staff a snow day. Since we had an unexpected day off in early
February, an unexpected day was tacked on to the end of the school year. To
prevent the added day in June this year, district officials built in a weather
day on this sunny April day. Since
weather has been well above 37 degrees all year, we haven’t cashed in our
weather day and, although students are
at home, likely perusing facebook or (hopefully) reading a book, my coworkers
and I are passing time shuffling around our classrooms, consolidating old
lessons plans, and preparing end of the year units. Whereas my classroom isn’t quite at
comforting without my students, I’ve filled the void with a constant stream of “This American Life.” All the episodes have
been wonderfully intriguing, but one was especially thought provoking.
The title was “Our Own Worst Enemy.” It detailed people who
fought against themselves. The first act resonated with me. It dealt with people
who ate food regardless of the vomit or swelling their consumption induced. I’m
notorious for this; beer and bread reap havoc on my intestines, causing
discoloration in excretions, but simply dangle a micro-brewed beverage and
slice of vegetable filled pizza in front of me, and I’ll concede to
self-discipline immediately. As the episode went on, I felt less connected to
the people’s stories, but was engrossed in the theories being shared across the
internet radio waves.
One man married at age 19 only to “come out of the closet”
in his early 20s, divorce his wife, and live a life of sexual “promiscuity” until he found Jesus in a Southern
church. He shared that his confrontation with the good lord led him to believe
that his sexuality was a sinful lifestyle that warranted suppression. He went
on to start a “Ex-Gays” ministry that insisted members oppose homosexuality and
any facet of the homosexual lifestyle as if it were a dirty communicable
disease. What started as an adult only ministry eventually expanded to include
a similar “program” for teens who admitted to being homosexual. Whereas the
adult ministry was a choice, teens admitted to the program were generally
forced to attend by their parents. As can be expected, teenagers were appalled
that they were being forced to attend an “anti gay” ministerial program because
they didn’t feel shame over their lifestyle (rightfully, in my opinion, its not
a shameful lifestyle). One particular teen’s story caught national attention,
which ignited protests outside the ministry’s doors. The flame behind the
protest was a gay filmmaker. After weeks of shouting and sign holding (the
filmmaker behind his camera the whole time), the filmmaker and ministry leader agreed
to meet. Both expected a tense sharing of words, but were instead surprised by
the happenings that unfolded.
In a very abridged version of the rest of the episode, the
ministry leader admitted that the gay filmmaker was profoundly genuine. In
fact, he noted that the filmmaker was so comfortable in his skin. He wasn’t
angry or defiant or defensive, he was calm and self-secure. The two continued
to meet and as friendship evolved between the two, the ministry leader started
to shed the ideas that backed his ministry. To fill the fast dissipating void,
he sought self-confidence. He sought to know himself in a way similar to the
way the filmmaker knew himself. He wanted to be comfortable in his own skin,
calm and undefensive. The ministry leader no longer calls himself an Ex Gay.
Rather, he is gay and unashamed about the journey his sexuality carves for him.
As the host of “This American Life” asked final questions to
the two men and my pile of papers dissolved on my desk, I thought
Isn’t this the secret of life? To be comfortable in our own
skin. When we’re comfortable in our skin, we’re not exhausted by efforts to
keep up with the unkeepupables and even better, we’re not on a persistent
mission to convert others to lifestyles we deem fit. Rather, we’re able to
trust that just as we’re comfortable, each individual deserves that same
comfort, even if his or her skin isn’t the same as ours. Love abounds when we
trust that lifestyle is unique per person and self-comfort wears multiple masks
depending on that uniqueness.
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