365 Days Of Love. Day 66

The summer after 5^th grade my friend, Jon, hosted a co-ed campout. At the time, his best friend, Tony, was dating my arch nemesis from another elementary school, Katie Budahl. My best friend, Brittany and I knew Katie would be sharing a tent with us and we were fully prepared to be the evilest almost 6^th graders known to man.

The campout started and Brittany and I did our best mean girls, but per Katie’s humor and entertaining oddities, our evil personas quickly dissipated. The ultimate game changer happened on a four-wheeler ride in the cornfields.  Mid ride, Katie stood up in the ATV’s passenger basket and consequentially fell off into a pile of natural fertilizer. Shocked at first, Brittany and I hopped off and asked if she was okay. Her bright white teeth shone before she could answer, and out of her mouth sang the most amiable laugh ever. Soon, we were all laughing.

That laughter started the spine of my friendship with Katie. In fact, that laughter set the precedent for what would become my most hahaha-ing friendship.

One time, Katie jetted across a busy street in front of my car, I nearly hit her. When she slid into the passenger seat, we laughed.

Another time, we stole traffic cones. I was the first culprit and as I ran up the exit ramp, dragging the bright orange plastic behind me, the driver of the getaway car started to inch out of my reach. My soccer player legs enabled me to catch up to the maroon Camrey, throw the cone in, and hop on someone’s lap. As soon as the traffic cone and I were safe, Katie and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

This other time, as captains of our soccer team, we received an awful lashing of words from our coach. As he screamed at us in our hotel room, we laughed (being a teacher, I know how incredibly annoying this is, but at the time, his reddening face and near-cracking voice was absurdly humorous). We laughed so hard that we peed our pants. As seniors in high school, we peed our pants.

In breakups, we laughed. In wins or loses, we laughed. In trouble or joy, we laughed. It was as if the combinations of our souls knew that laughter was a superior means of living than the anxiety we chose independent of each other.

Sometime, in college, we stopped laughing.

The circumstances that caused the cease-laughter are unimportant now. Katie and I lost almost all contact. When I thought of her, I felt bitter. I didn’t understand some of the choices she made and I had no desire to share any part of my life with her. Through Facebook and friends, I found out she was engaged. I swore not to go to her August wedding despite the fact that I’d be in South Dakota. When I received the invitation in the mail, it proved to be a soul-searching catalyst. After minimal coaxing from my ever-kind mother, I checked the “I’ll be attending” box and put the RSVP card in the mail.

Still feeling reluctant about my attendance, I carpooled to the wedding locale with two friends and my mom. We shifted in our seats, perusing the crowd, waiting for Katie to walk down the aisle. The bridal procession commenced, the church doors triumphantly opened, and there was Katie. When she spotted us in the crowd, she smiled and just as they did years before, her bright white teeth and flawless smile erased any ill feelings I had allowed to stew within my soul. I smiled back, a real smile, and I felt months of missed laughter stirring inside me.

On Christmas day, I ran in Katie’s neighborhood. Missing her and her friendship, I detoured from my normal route and quickly found myself knocking at Katie’s door. I waited minute and heard no response. Just when I was about to leave, I heard her mom singing Christmas carols. This time, I knocked a little louder and was welcomed eccentrically welcomed into the house by Katie’s mom.

Katie skipped down the stairs in her most memorable outfit, sweatpants and a t-shirt. After hugs of hello, we started talking and the laughter that started stirring on her wedding day matriculated. As we recalled old memories and caught each other up on recent happenings, we laughed. It felt so good.  It felt so much better than bitter.

Katie taught me that loving is laughing. Choose to laugh even when bitterness begs to infiltrate, choose laughter.