365 Days Of Love. Day 64

I've lived a lot of places and each place some wonderful woman has assumed the position of my "mom." Although all my "moms" have been wonderful, I'm most marked by Ann, the woman who took me in while I was living in New Jersey.

The family I worked for in New Jersey was overly generous and wonderfully welcoming and although they treated me much like their own family, I marked myself as "employee" and never really allowed myself to fit into their mold. As a result, I felt familyless and, in my quarter of their really large house, really really lonely.

I'm not sure how it happened, but someone suggested I attend a church about 20 minutes away from Kinnelon, where I was living. The night I decided to attend, the worship pastor asked for prayer as his wife lost her best friend in a rare birthing situation. Months after this encounter, the worship pastor, Steve and his wife, Melissa, along with Melissa's siblings acted as my brothers and sisters and it was through this encounter that I was introduced to a progressive church service, Emergence. I started attending regularly and after a few weeks, I joined a bible study hosted by Ann (Melissa's mom).

The first time I met Ann, I was amazed at her ability to remain honest and compassionate. At times, her house seemed a buzz with anxieties and she calmly fielded them all, offering solace, but not negating to "tell people how it really was" in the most sincere way. To me, she embodied strength, kindness, and sun-like energy. Weeks after our first encounter, I was at Ann's for far more than bible study. Every Sunday, I'd snuggle into a couch or chair and watch football with her family (this is where I trace my love of the NY Giants), eat bagels, and partake in a wide array of conversation. Somedays, I would talk to Melissa as she worked out or sneak away and work on homework. No matter what I did, I felt as if I belonged. The family feeling I lacked at my nanny family's house, I felt in abundance at Ann's.

When I was hospitalized for mono, Ann was one of my first visitors. When I felt insecure, Ann drilled words of praise into me. When I struggled to make decisions, to be bold, Ann lit a fire under me. When I left NJ, Ann promised (a promise she has many times kept) to always have a place for me.

Ann showed me that loving is assuming benevolence and genuineness.