Case in point, in our lifetime's, I've ruined near 1/4 of her closet. It was never intentional, but I couldn't seem to control the paintbrush in art class when I was borrowing her new sweater. Or, the spoon missed my mouth consequentially causing the red beets it was carrying to stain my borrowed white pants. Worse than that, though, I remember arguments with my sister where I said horrible things. I told her she would never get a boyfriend, she was a loser, she didn't have friends. None of these things were true and recalling them now, I know the spawned out of my own insecurities and jealousy. Regardless, the closeness in age of my sister and I coupled with our same sex-ness has undoubtedly resulted in some toxic word brawls.
I definitely don't deserve my sister's love.
My junior year of high school, my sister came home from college for a week to visit us. I spent the night out with my boyfriend and sleepily sauntered into my bedroom around 2am. As I buried myself in my covers, I heard the crinkle paper under my pillow. I reached my hand under my head and found a letter, not a note, but a letter.
It was from my sister.
I can't recite the letter word for word, but I remember one part distinctly. My sister wrote, "I admire you." Just as I sauntered into my room shortly before that, tears sauntered down my cheeks like a slow moving ship as it departs from the harbor. My sister knows the worst possible version of me. She's been the bearer of the most evil things that have ever exited my lips. Despite that, she admired me. I know she didn't admire my ability to dish out insults, but rather, my sister refused to draw judgement on me per those (out of character) moments. Although she knew the worst possible version of me, she saw and believed in the best possible version of me.
My sister is my dearest friend. She taught me that love is seeing the best in people even if you're shown the worst.
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